“When forgiveness for others does not free us from anger, it’s because we need to direct the forgiveness towards our self.”
– Stacey Hall, Chi-To-Be!
Have you ever had an experience with another person that left you feeling angry?
Has the anger stayed long after the other person has apologized?
Have you done endless forgiveness exercises towards the other person and yet the anger is still present whenever you think about the situation?
If so, then it is likely that you have not taken these two important steps to release the anger and return back to a peaceful emotional state…
Step 1: Forgive yourself
So many times when it is difficult to release anger it is because we are actually angry with ourselves for becoming involved with the other person in the first place. We may have had an intuitive thought that we ignored or we may have chosen to give the person a second chance…only to have the same negative experience repeated.
We have been taught how important it is to forgive others. However, it is much more essential to first forgive our self before extending forgiveness to the other person.
First, we accept the decision we made which caused us to attract the situation in to our life. Then, we forgive our self by choosing to learn from the experience in order to make a different decision in the future.
Only then are we able to truly forgive the other person.
Because we have regained our personal power and have released ourselves from feeling like the victim in the situation.
Step 2: Identify the actions of the other person which caused you to feel anger.
Now that we are back in our own power, we can use Chi-To-Be! Energy Surge #4 to create a Strategic Attraction Plan to become clear about the type of people we intend to attract into our life … the people who enhance our life, who make our life more enjoyable, who lift our spirits.
For example, if someone lies to you and this makes you angry, as you create your Strategic Attraction Plan, you would consider what quality in others would you prefer instead of someone who lies to you? Perhaps you would prefer to attract people who are trustworthy, who demonstrate integrity, who are open in their communications, etc.
If someone in your life continuously makes careless mistakes and this makes you angry, then you might prefer to attract people who demonstrate the qualities of ‘carefulness,’ ‘accuracy’ and ‘attention to ensuring details are correct.’
Take a moment now to consider people and situations which have caused you to feel anger in the past.
Now, consider what you would have preferred to attract instead and make a list of those qualities to begin becoming more ‘attractive’ to situations you would enjoy experiencing.
I’ve recorded this short video to explain this simple Strategic Attraction Planning Process for you.
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As always, thank you for sharing this Tip with your team members, co-workers, friends and family…any one you feel would enjoy being more ‘attractive’ with what they desire to have in their lives to achieve their goals with velocity and ease.
Stacey Hall, L.S.H., C.N.T.C., C.A.C, C.R.T.S.
Success Coach, Speaker, Best-Selling Author
CEO, Chi-To-Be!, LLC