“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” –Lucille Ball
Yup, I used to have those days…often.
In fact, I had those days so often that I became a master at beating my own self up before anyone else could say anything to me about me….because anything I could say about me was always worse than anything anyone else could say.
The good news is that has not been my life for more than 15 years.
In fact, as I am writing this, I can think of 6 wonderful appreciations I have already received today from other people.
There is just one simple step I took to stop attracting negative feedback and to start attracting positive appreciations.
I started going ‘APE’.
APE stands for ‘APPRECIATION PERSPECTIVE EXPERIENCE’
And, it is the practice of seeing myself from the perspective of Divine appreciation. As often as possible throughout each and every day…and most especially as I fall asleep.
On average, studies show that it takes 15 minutes to fall asleep each night, which is more than 91 hours per year. This is the equivalent of spending more than two 40-hour work weeks spent lying in bed waiting to fall asleep.
This time could produce for us what a two-week relaxing vacation can produce or it could feel like spending two weeks in hell.
For me, it was just like being in hell. I used the time spent falling asleep (if I was even able to fall asleep at all) focusing on all the ways that I ‘screwed up’ during the day… or all the activities that I did not accomplish during the day … or all the insults and critical feedback I had received during the day. You get the idea.
According to M.Farouk Radwan, MSc., your subconscious mind is far more powerful than your conscious mind. By learning how to train and use your subconscious mind you will be able to control your behavior, break bad habits, get rid of unwanted emotions and fix your belief system. The subconscious mind accepts all suggestions that are sent to it provided that the conscious mind’s supervision is absent. Our thoughts and expectations serve as the master plan for our subconscious mind. So whenever we think of something our subconscious mind will do its best to make it come true.*
And, according to Dr. Wayne Dyer, I was imprinting my subconscious with unhappy, frustrated, pessimistic, afraid thoughts.. He has written, “Your subconscious mind, unable to distinguish between what you are telling it through your pre-sleep conditioning ritual and what is actually happening in your everyday world, says to you, “Okay, I’ve got it.” Alas, you awaken befuddled by all of the things you don’t want that keep showing up in your life, not understanding that by assuming the feeling of what you don’t wish for and then going to sleep with those thoughts in your mind, you are programming your subconscious mind to take over. And this is why you so often fail to attract the ideal in your life.”
And, this is exactly what I was doing. The next day would show up exactly as the day before….just as unhappy, just as frustrating, and I was just as pessimistic and fearful at the end of the day.
Dr. Dyer offered an alternative and I chose to take it.
He wrote, “Those last five minutes of the day are your five minutes and yours alone. Consider using your last waking moments before sleep, programming your subconscious mind in a new way. When you see a tendency toward negativity, simply pause and gently remind yourself in your sleepy state that you do not wish to enter your unconscious world with these feelings. Then assume that feeling in your body of your wish fulfilled. You want to enter your sleep with reminders to your subconscious to automatically fulfill your life-enhancing wishes.”
The ‘life-enhancing wishes’ I chose to have my subconscious fulfill was the experience of being appreciated by and to be more attractive to others.
As I began to understand how the Law of Attraction brings to me what I think about, I chose to start appreciating myself much more by falling asleep thinking about everything I could appreciate myself for doing…such as taking my vitamins and supplements, being kind to someone who was not kind to me, completing projects…or at least starting a project.
I noticed how quickly I started to fall asleep…most times before I even completed my mental list of appreciations. And, I also noticed how much happier I felt when I woke up.
And, very soon I also started to be amazed at the number of appreciations and positive acknowledgments I began receiving from other people.
With such fast results, it was easy to make this process a habit and I called my process ‘Going APE’ on myself every night.
This is truly the very first step I took and it turned my life around. All the successes I have achieved with velocity and ease can be traced back to my choice to Go APE on myself every night.
I invite you to experience Going APE on yourself tonight. As you are lying in bed, with your eyes closed, begin to make a list of appreciations of yourself. Each appreciation begins like this…
“(Your Name, I appreciate you for (fill in with what you have said, done, completed, thought, discovered, etc. that deserves to be acknowledged and appreciated.)
If you have already been Going APE, I would love to hear your experiences. What have you discovered about yourself? What changes have occurred in your life?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, inspirations, questions and comments about this Stree-Free Living Tip below.
And, feel free to tag and share, too!
As always, thank you for sharing this Tip with your team members, co-workers, friends and family…any one you feel would enjoy being more ‘attractive’ with what they desire to have in their lives to achieve their goals with velocity and ease.
Stacey Hall, L.S.H., C.N.T.C., C.A.C, C.R.T.S.
Success Coach, Speaker, Best-Selling Author
CEO, Chi-To-Be!, LLC