“Humans hardly know what they want, how they want it, or when they want it.” ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
I want what I want when I want it. I bet you do, too.
A huge majority of the time, I get what I want because I make agreements with myself…which I keep…and which allow me to stay in The Attraction Zone to attract what I intend to have.
As we explored together in the Success Tip ‘3 Questions To Ask Yourself To Attract The People You Want In Your Life!’, the Law of Attraction is a scientific principle that energy attracts other energy that is just like itself. Thoughts are energy and produce energy. The energy of my thoughts is what will attract other energy similar to those thoughts.
I did not always understand this concept. Back then, the majority of my time was spent feeling upset because I was not getting what I wanted from other people. I wanted more caring and considerate friends. I wanted a better-paying job. I wanted to be in a close and loving marriage.
And, there was no sign that my life was ever going to change.
Until I understood that no one was going to give me what I wanted until I made 4 firm agreements with myself and stuck to them!
And, once I made them, my life transformed in every area more quickly than I ever could have conceived was possible.
In the book, The Four Agreements®, don Miguel Ruiz “reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements® offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.*
Agreement #1: Be Impeccable with Your Word™ – “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”*
To keep this agreement it is essential for me to acknowledge and express my own feelings, thoughts, desires, and experiences so I can maintain my energy at a high vibration and to attract the type of people I intend to attract to assist me in achieving my goals.
As shared in last week’s Success Tip, when I create my Strategic Attraction Plan™, I list many qualities for the type of people I intend to attract to assist me. Some of these qualities are: confident, balanced, honest, caring, and compassionate.
Yet, consider if I go out in the world and I start speaking statements such as, “Oh, I’m just not as smart as Nancy,” or “I’m such an idiot about social networking.” I am not being caring and compassionate about myself. As I use terms that are self-deprecating, I am lowering my energy and vibration level. This means that I am now only able to attract people who are also self-deprecating (Remember, like attracts like.) And, that is probably not someone who is ‘confident, balanced, honest, caring and compassionate’ to their self or others.
So, I made an agreement with myself to be confident, balanced, honest, caring, and compassionate with myself always. And, I am now surrounded by people who are confident, balanced, honest, caring, and compassionate with their selves and with me.
Agreement #2: Don’t Take Anything Personally™ – “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”*
I now have an agreement with myself to remember that I do not cause others to do anything. Anything they may think, do or say to or about me is simply a reflection of the accumulation of their own previous experiences. My only responsibility is to ensure that I am being impeccable with my own word.
Now, whenever anyone says anything to me about me, I remember to first ask myself if I feel the same way about myself as this person is saying about me. If I agree with what they are saying, then I have a choice to continue feeling that way about myself…or change how I feel about myself. When I truly allowed myself to understand this Agreement, I began to finally release myself from being a victim to what others think and do. In other words, I was able to take back my own power to use on my own behalf.
Agreement #3: Don’t Make Assumptions™ – “Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”*
I made an agreement with myself to communicate my intentions clearly to others and to ask for other people to state their intentions clearly at the start of every conversation. I choose to remember that someone’s response to anything I say or do is based upon their own previous experiences and perceptions. I keep my agreement to ask questions to clarify their response in order to avoid misunderstandings. In doing so, it is much easier for us both to get what we want from each other.
Agreement #4: Always Do Your Best™ – “Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”*
By keeping this agreement with myself, I am able to master a previous Success Tip: ‘Do It Your Way, Any Way You Can™.’ Especially when beginning a new project or starting a new relationship, it’s not practical or logical to expect that I will be able to do it ‘perfectly.’ All I am able to do is to do the best I can in the moment with whatever knowledge and tools are available to me at that time.
I also now accept I am a human – not a machine. Each and every day, depending upon the amount of rest I have had, the food I have eaten, the amount of energy I have already expended, my best will change minute-to-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day. Agreement #4 encourages me to always do my best. Yet, it also acknowledges that my best will change from one day to the next.
And, by practicing these 4 agreements with myself I get what I want much more quickly than ever before!
If you have been practicing these 4 Agreements, I would love to hear your experiences. What have you discovered? Which Agreement is your favorite one? Which Agreement do you find most challenging to keep?
*”From the book The Four Agreements ©1997, Miguel Angel Ruiz, M.D.
Reprinted with permission of Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc. P.O. Box 6657, San Rafael, CA 94903. All rights reserved.”
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Go For Yes Success Strategist
Speaker, Best-Selling Author
CEO, Chi-To-Be!, LLC