“It’s better to let someone walk away from you than all over you.”
Recently, I was speaking with one of my coaching clients who expressed she was stressed and feeling out of control. She said she was “frustrated because she could not get an employee to do what she is paying him to do.”
The more she spoke about the situation, the worse she felt as she realized that she had experienced many similar situations over the course of her life.
She declared she wanted to “stop people from walking all over me.”
She went on to explain that the people she had asked for advice previously had told her to “just get over it; stop worrying about it; don’t make a mountain out of a molehill; stop being so picky; etc.”
This advice just made her feel worse. She felt that they were saying that she should just ignore the fact that the situation with this employee was not what she would want it to be.
She felt that they were saying that she was the cause of the problem…not the employee.
Yet, the situation was on her mind constantly because she felt that there was something wrong with her because she wanted the situation to be different. By the time she came to me for support, she was at her wit’s end and deeply upset with herself.
Perhaps you are experiencing a similar situation right now in your life.
When she finished explaining her situation and how she felt, I began by asking her a series of questions to assist her in clearly identifying the qualities of an employee who would be perfect in assisting her to achieve her goals.
Next, I asked her which of those qualities her current employee demonstrates…..and then I asked her which ones the current employee does not demonstrate.
As she answered the questions, my client became more confident that she deserves to work with someone who matches the qualities she wants her employees to demonstrate. By the end of our coaching session, she said she felt ‘in control’ of the situation again.
She began to realize that she had more than a ‘right’ to work with someone who demonstrates those qualities. In fact, she realized that she was actually Accountable to ensuring that the position was filled by someone who matched the qualities perfectly so that the company goals could be achieved with velocity and ease!
Her tears had stopped, a smile returned to her face, and she told me that she now intends to share with the current employee the list of qualities and responsibilities required to be fulfilled by the person in that position. And, she intends to work out a plan with the current employee to give the person time to find another position while she is in the process of attracting a more perfect employee.
Now that you know what she is going to do, what will you do to stop people walking all over you?
You may want to begin by asking yourself these questions:
What situations in my life would I like to improve?
Who are the people in my life who lift my energy?
How do those people lift my energy?
How are those people different from the other people in my life?
How can I spend more time with the people who lift my energy?
In any given situation, whatever we are allowing we are attracting.
If we don’t like the way we are being treated by others, we can use these situations to become clear about how we do intend to be treated.
We begin to change our lives – stop people walking all over us — by using these less-than-perfect situations to assist us in identifying what would be more perfect to attract in order to achieve our goals with greater velocity and ease.
Thanks for taking a moment now to share your thoughts on this Attraction Tip in the comment box below.
As always, thank you for sharing this Attraction Tip with your team members, co-workers, friends and family…any one you feel would enjoy being more ‘attractive’ with what they desire to have in their lives to achieve their goals with velocity and ease.
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